An idiot's guide to realizing your heart's stolen
by Chiq
Summary: (Following the buyout of MusicxMedia by DasReadMachine, the former company's flagship magazine was discontinued. The following unpublished and unpolished transcript, assumed to be one of the last works of the company, was found on the desk of a writer.


**Author's notes** : My first Pitch Perfect fanfiction (please be gentle). BUT FEEDBACK/COMMENTS MOST WELCOMED.

The idea of removing the questions came from lawless - check out her Tumblr at normallyiminsane.

* * *

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** _Beca._ Ms Mitchell is my stepsister."

 **MusicX: . ?  
** **Beca** : I guess. Look, this isn't going to take more than 15 minutes, right? Dax promised me that it wouldn't.

 **MusicX: . ?  
** **Beca:** Yes, I'll be there.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** I don't know much about that. If you want details of the reunion, you'd have to speak to…actually, you know who would be perfect? Aubrey Posen.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** Yep. The one and only. Ask as _many_ questions as you want, as detailed as you like. She's super friendly and doesn't mind spending her time on stuff like this at all.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca** : Absolutely. Here's a tip for ya – don't call her anything else but _Aub_. She really loves it when people call her that.

 **MusicX: . .  
** **Beca:** No probs. I'm a music producer. I write and arrange songs for some of the artists here.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca** : Not at my level. Sure, my goal is to produce for big stars someday, but right now I'm still paying my dues and learning the craft.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca** : I'm not the youngest here, no. In fact, I'm not even sure why you chose me – is this some kind of dud assignment, like you're just looking to fill up the space or something? Because if it is, I can give you some quick answers and we can get back to our jobs.

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** He said _what_?

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** He really said that? He said those words?

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Boss, can I have a minute?

 **(Ms Mitchell steps off to speak to the owner and creative director of Residual Heat, who's just passed by. When asked for a comment by the interviewer, he declined to answer, but Ms Mitchell returns in a happier mood.)**

 **Beca:** Okay, all sorted out. Let's go, then.  
 **MusicX: ?**

 **Beca:** What? What do you mean?

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** No, I didn't hear any "Reggie".

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Look, I don't know who Reggie is, but if it's him you want to interview, I can go get him and we can end mine now.

 **MusicX: . ?  
** **Beca** : I guess I've always loved music. It's been there for me consistently, through whatever, y'know?

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca** : Stuff.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca** : Sorry, I don't like to talk about my past to strangers.

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Uhm, you can ask me questions about my career?

 **MusicX: . ?  
** **Beca:** I started working here a year and a half ago, but I was an intern before that.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca** : Yes, that was when I met Snoop Dogg.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** You're right – that wasn't the first time my work was played in public.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** Yep, for the Bellas.

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Thank you. I mean it was all a team effort. We wouldn't have done it without everyone pitching in and giving their best, y'know?

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** Wait. What's your distribution like again? I mean, are college professors likely to get ahold of a copy of this magazine?

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Okay, then yes, it added to my college experience, or whatever people call it these days. I'm not saying college is for everyone, but I guess I had a pretty okay ride.

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Well, I certainly didn't expect to join a group of women in anything, much less winning all these awards.

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Wha – _who_ told you about that?

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Okay, first of all, never call us that ever again. Second, we're hardly the king or queen of _anything_.

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Dude, this is not a fairy tale, okay? There was nothing special about us. It's just cliché. As cliché as my parents'…nevermind.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** …. _where_ did you even hear about this?

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Wow, the _Acapella Gazette_ , huh? You really did your homework, didn't you?

 **MusicX: . .  
** **Beca:** Then you'd know we're just friends now.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** We're not discussing that.

 **MusicX: . .  
** **Beca** : You _what?_ Hang the fuck on.

 **(Ms Mitchell steps away and types furiously on her phone. After waiting a few minutes for a response, she makes a call and can be heard saying "Jesse" in an agitated tone. She turns away for several minutes more after this.)**

 **Beca:** Yep, seems like you were telling the truth. Guess we just have to get this over with.

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Oh no you don't. I'm going to tell Jesse exactly what I tell you today, and if you try to ambush him with sneaky questions when it's turn to be interviewed, he'll call me. Then this whole thing is off, rising-star-of-Residual-Heat or not, you hear me?

 **MusicX: . ?  
** **Beca:** Look, there wasn't any drama, okay? Nobody cheated on anybody, and it wasn't some rivalry induced break up. Don't even try to sensationalize it.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** It just sort of…fizzled.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** I don't know. We were just…different. He loved movies, I didn't; he was heading to L.A., I wanted to stay in Atlanta. He wanted so many things for us, and I just…

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** I did feel deeply for him, okay? I mean…you know what I mean. Anyway, it just didn't work.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** Gee, how do you think anyone feels after a break up?

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Whatever. Anyway, that's the story.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** Yes, the Bellas took – well, Fat Amy basically dragged – me out after that happened, yes.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** Oh my god, are people still talking about that? Look, Fat Amy was just letting off some steam from her troubles with Bumper – nobody meant for that to happen in the club, okay?

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Sure, if you can track her all the way in the Australian outback, feel –

 **(Ms Mitchell steps away to pick up a call. Squealing noises can be heard from the caller, and Ms Mitchell can be heard admonishing "Chloe". Words such as "landlord" and "furniture" can be heard throughout the conversation.**

 **She blushes a few times throughout the call and ends it 15 minutes later.)**

 **Beca:** Yeah, sorry about that.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** No, I don't need a lozenge. Not everyone who clears their throat needs a lozenge.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** It was good news, yes.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** How did you know? Were you eavesdropping on my call?

 **MusicX: . .  
** **Beca:** She does?

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Fine. Tell Chloe's cousin I said hi.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** I don't want to talk about Chloe.

 **MusicX: . ?  
** **Beca:** No. You cannot call Chloe for a short quote or whatever it is, okay?

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** _No,_ [extreme expletive towards the interviewer], did you not hear a word I said? Chloe is off limits. Call Jesse, Fat Amy, that douchebag Bumper or whoever you want, but leave Chloe out of it, or we're gonna have a big problem.

 **Beca:** In fact, you know what? This interview is over.

 **(Ms Mitchell leaves the room. Twenty minutes later, the publication uses an insider contact to reach another…insider contact, and a call is made to Ms Mitchell.**

 **She returns shortly after.)**

 **MusicX: . .  
** **Beca:** Don't thank me. Thank your lucky stars I don't have anything urgent today – and don't think I don't know that you called her.

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Let's get this over with. Here's how this goes – you don't ask any personal questions about her, or drag her into this media circus, you understand?

 **MusicX: . ?  
** **Beca:** Four years.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** A super-senior, yes.

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Obviously you know _nothing_. Chloe's got more intelligence in her pinky than you do in your entire body, and she's an excellent leader, _and_ takes great care of all the Bellas.

 **MusicX: . ?  
** **Beca** : She's just…she had a lot on her plate, okay? I think initially she just wanted to make sure that the Bellas were all set, and then we became so close. And the longer she stayed…

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** Well, yeah. All the seniors had left, and Aubrey – I mean _Aubs_ – did a great job on the handover, but we still needed a lot of hands-on help. So Chloe staying definitely made it much easier.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** I'm sure we would have pulled through if she had left, but nowhere as close as what we achieved.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** Sure I was, but I wasn't a good leader. I mean I did what I did best, but eventually, it was just _sound_. You find a group with good voices, and with enough training, they'd be able to perform too, right?

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** But when it came to holding everything together, especially when shit went down in our senior year, and making sure that everyone was doing okay in the Bellas – or just in life, even, I just…

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Yeah. There's nobody else I imagine who could be better in doing what she did. She just has this…if you knew what she had to deal with – a grumpy and sometimes absent co-captain, the different personalities and needs of the group, plans for her future, pressure from everyone else about graduating, you'd think what she did was nothing short of…magical.

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Yeah, it's definitely a common joke among the Bellas. I'm – _was_ – the distant, whatever-goes dad, and she was the mom who was the backbone of the family.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** …I have, and I still wonder sometimes. I mean, leading an acapella group that used to be the laughing stock to being world champs was no small feat, y'know? But was it enough to compensate for being a super senior when you want a job…

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Not as much as everyone else, actually. Some part of me wanted her to, but I also understood. Chloe's just…she's different from everyone else – you just have to let her move at her own pace. Sure she has a sunshiny persona, but deep inside, she's also…

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** People just underestimate her, okay? I mean, I did too. You think that just because she's all smiles, that she's…happy with whatever. Like it's easy to lash out at her because you think she'll bounce back quickly, and how you can always persuade her to give in to you because maybe it isn't a compromise for her, right?

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** But she does. She feels whatever it is that people fling at her – deeply, she hurts and she compromises. She's just too great of a person to treat assholes like how they treat her.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** Well, I'm one of them. And I've been an asshole to her in more ways than one.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** Not like that. I don't treat her like that anymore – or I try not to. But going back to whether I pushed her to graduate, I think I should have. But I guess I was selfish.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca** : Yeah. Selfish.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** No, this doesn't have anything to do with the Bellas. I know I make fun of her 'mom-ness', and like I said, I'm sure the group would have been fine without her. But me, personally? I don't know where I would have ended up.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** I mean, my freshman year alone, and with Jesse, issues with my dad, and learning that I was going to have step-siblings when I wasn't even ready to acknowledge the stepmons – _Sheila_ – and the uncertainty and stress of wanting to make it into the music industry…

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca** : Sure, music was an escape and it was consistent, and before I had Chlo – I mean, before I became a Bella, it would have been enough.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** Music _is_ still my world. I guess what I'm trying to say is it's a different kind of support.

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Wait. Why are you bringing Jesse back into this conversation again?

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** It's a _different_ kind of different, okay? I wasn't saying that being different is bad.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** We could probably use the Bellas as an example – I produced the sound, and she took care of everything else. She makes up for my no-nonsense attitude with her smiles, and I tell her if something can – or can't – be done. I think she makes me better.

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca** : Yeah – better, that's the word.

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** Well, if I didn't have her by my side, I'm pretty sure that I would have had a breakdown, run to L.A. and become a bigger asshole than before I went to Barden. One who doesn't give a shit about anyone and doesn't have anyone to give a shit about her either.

 **MusicX: .  
** **Beca:** I guess, yeah. Some days, when I think about it, I feel that it's sheer dumb luck, y'know? That she trusts me just as much, and lets me be there for her. And, both of us can just be ourselves' cuz we know that we'll still –

 **MusicX: ?  
** **Beca:** Huh.

 **MusicX: ? ?**

 **(The interview is interrupted as Ms Mitchell stops responding to any question. As her face turns increasingly red and she shows signs of hyperventilating, the team contemplates calling emergency services.)**

 **Beca:** I gotta go.

 **MusicX: …  
** **Beca:** Yes, I know I said that, but this just came up, and I really have to go. I'm sorry, but I'll make it up to you later, okay? Inside scoop, whatever – as long as it's within my reach.

 **MusicX: ? !**

 **(The interview ends as Ms Mitchell rushes out of Residual Heat, her phone to her ear.)**


End file.
